Although I still think it is extremely unlikely, ever, that good things WILL happen. That is what life has taught me.
Anyway, one of the psychiatrists I've left a message for just called me back; I've called a number of them, and some of these have let me know that everyone in their whole BUILDING are not taking new patients, thus wiping a whole slew of names off of my list of psychiatrists off my list.
This iatrist I just spoke with, told me he gets 2-8 people a day calling him, needing a new psychiatrist. Geez, no wonder the psychiatrists around here turned me down; there's no way a psychiatrist could take that many on, they'd get swamped!
I think one reason he took me is because I had mentioned my bad experience with Dr. Brinley, and how I was frightened of seeing a psychiatrist now, and how I haven't been able to find one anyway. Also, I mentioned being referred to him by my ologist; his was one of the names my ologist marked on the list of providers I printed out from UHC's website. Well, Live and Work Well's website, the mental health gateway provider for UHC, or whatever one calls that sort of thing. Mental Health Access Manaqer. That reminds me, I'd better call them to pre-authorize this psychiatrist visit.
From the 20 minutes we spent on the phone (and I am pleased and surprised that he'd take that amount of time to speak with me!), it seems like we will be a really good fit, as far as doctor/patient relationship goes, psychiatrist/patient relationship being a bit different than a GP/patient relationship.
So, I am nervous and scared, but there is good potential here. He'll see me for at least an hour and a half initially, to really find out what's going on and stuff; he asked me to organize my med history, as to what I've been on, how long, when, beneficial effects, side effects, etc. I can SO do that, and would have anyway, but I'm glad he asked. We'll also talk about some other stuff.
Anyway, this is really, REALLY, EXCEPTIONALLY great news. Especially since, the last 4-5 months my meds have been losing effectiveness steadily, it seems.
Wish me luck, and courage, and strength, and stuff!
Otherwise, life sucks, is the pits, horrible, yucky, stupid, awful, horrendous, etc. I try, WITHOUT those attitudes, and still end up in bad places. So no platitudes about, gee, if that's what you see, that's what you GET, please. I prefer not platitudes or easy, pop psychology kind of things, either. My life and situation and mental and emotional health situations are complicated, and much deeper than any platitudes or "just do this, to feel better" things, can approach.
