I just have a maze of fears I have to navigate in my mind, in order to try to function, and sometimes that comes out in the maze of words and maze of verbal construction that I term/put things in, in order to be able to say it at all.
I thought that a REALLY good explanation of what alot of my struggle is. It uses up ALOT of me, of my energy - even physical, not just mental - as this is very basic to how I interface with the world, kind of like how someone with autism has their own basic things that are on a fundamental level of interfacing with the world.
Different struggles, but in one angle of thinking about it, I thought, HEY, this goes to show to what depth and degree of interference and struggle I'm even starting from, when it comes to doing anything. I thought it a good, though brief, explanation and illustration of the problem, although perhaps it might not make sense to some, or perhaps many.
It's one of the layers of interference that takes effort to push through, to run through that maze in my mind, in my words, in and with my relationships, in and with my feelings and thoughts about those relationships, or about anything; also about, regarding, and involving my actions - actively taking alot of energy to sort, filter, run the maze, etc. mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc. in thought, word, feeling, and deed.
The title of this post is a play on some of the lyrics in the song, "When You Say Nothing At All", which is kind of funny, because all this effort and energy is being expended even when, and sometimes ESPECIALLY when, I'm saying nothing at all . . . .
