Saturday, April 29, 2006

Re-Focus of Purpose for this Blog

I've gotten away, a bit, from my purpose for this blog, although I think that's understandable since I've been going through alot. Also, that WILL happen from time to time given the nature of my conditions, and, will also show, in a way, what it's like to BE this way. So in that way, I haven't completely left off from what I meant to do, here.

I mean to show what it is like to live with and learn about these mental illnesses, since I'm still barely starting to learn.

I mean to show, over time, hopefully, the difference that therapy is making in my life. I think, just by my writing and the experiences I relate, improvements will naturally show. I do not, though, intend for people to judge me for any perceived "backsliding" or not improving "fast enough" or in ways or areas that others would prefer. People might judge me anyway, but I know that I am not asking anyone to "police" my improvement or lack thereof. Plus, the nature of my predicament is quite cyclical, anyway.

I mean to show how a discomfort or even prejudice, unconscious or otherwise, about or against the mentally ill, affects MY life, and the mentally ill in general, and those around them. And how it may even affect those who aren't, and don't know anyone who is mentally ill. I think there are many issues involved with mental illness, the mental health care system (which is fairly broken, at least as far as options for most people and funding and government assistance, health insurance mental health parity with other illnesses paid by health insurance, legislation and/or the lack thereof, etc.) that affect everyone, whether they know it or not.

I mean to show much about the way the system is working, and/or not working for me, or has or has not in the past, and what I think might be some ideas for improving things (with a LOT input and response and ideas from you guys, I hope).

I mean to show much about a variety of legislative issues surrounding mental illness, regarding funding research, diagnosis, treatment, health insurance parity with other illnesses, legal issues and rights for and about the mentally ill and their caregivers, and many other legislative issues.

I mean to show much about what people can DO to advocate for any aspect of any of these issues, by researching, finding, and relating resources for first, learning enough from respectable and legitimate sources, of both or more sides of the issues, and then where to expend your time, attention, emails, etc. and whom to send them to and contact/interact with, to bring these important issues closer to the front of county, state, and national officials' attention.

I mean to look into what is being researched in the way of mental illness, and getting to the root of some of the causes, that have not been discovered yet, both environmental (as in, the person's childhood, etc.), biological, and other. There are some interesting studies going on that are showing some differences in the brain, that I find fascinating. Although a bit . . . taken aback, sometimes, when I think, HEY, they are talking about stuff that would be going on in MY brain (if they are talking about my specific illnesses and disorders).

I mean to inject some humor into much of what I do, and convey, in a hopefully appropriate way, as that is one thing that helps me get through. And I hope we can have many good laughs together.

I mean to show various resources for the mentally ill, their families, friends, caregivers, and anyone else who is interested, as I discover them. I have several that I have used, one of which most people don't know about, but it can save $$$, that I may post about.

I can't guarantee anything or everything I say is completely accurate; I am not a lawyer, legislator, medical researcher, doctor, etc. I am not an expert, and I can't pretend to say that I know what I am doing when it comes to supporting others with mental illness; I am not a counselor, social worker, etc. Do not take any of my words or advice as representing what a mental health professional would recommend; please contact yours or locate one using various resources, some of which I'll post about, but for general and specific mental health advice, please contact a professional.

With that said, though, I will do my best to provide a place, here, where those interested, and those who know someone or are suffering from mental illness themselves can have a place to come for encouraging, friendly accepting support and understanding, as far as one can without knowing what it is like to have that specific illness.

I hope to give a snapshot of what it can be like, in MY situation, so that perhaps people can learn to understand a bit more of what the REALITY of being mentally ill is like, and what it can be like for those who love me, at least, from my perspective anyway. I may perhaps ask a trusted family member or two to post from time to time, from their perspective, if they are willing.

So. This is all ambitious, I know. Alot of it will be spread out, over time, and it will take time for me to know a bit more about alot of these before I'm comfortable starting to post on them. But hopefully we can make this journey together.

If any of YOU find resources, information, legislative stuff, etc., shoot me an email or a comment and let me know.

I also mean to post about my life, and not necessarily always mental illness, as I want and need to learn to accept myself better, and as I learn that I am NOT stupid for LOVING Wonder Woman and collecting items in that theme, and other things, and post about them, I come to accept myself more.

I am still cringing about posting that, as though it is some juvenile, stupid thing. But hey, it's out there.

I hope for some understanding and acceptance and support, but I know that, of course, I can't count on it. Thank you to those who do, and those who read this blog, and hopefully those who have given up on reading it as I've rather wandered muchly the last several months, may check again and come back.

Anyway, it won't be an overnight change, here, but these are all my intentions.

Basically my life, mixed up with mental illness issues, learning to accept myself and explore more of the things that interest me, and become COMFORTABLE with being the person who has those interests, as well as posting about autism issues in the same vein as everything mentioned above about mental illness issues.

Gee, that's not much, is it?

A little bit at a time. One piece, here and there, and it'll all form a bigger picture as time goes on.

Thanks for reading!

Sara

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sara, I know that I do not like people measuring my improvements or backsliding either. If wanting to be well would make us well, we would be there already. I also do not want people to look at me as some pathetic or tragic figure. These are my obstacles and the fact that I do not go a lot of places does not mean that I do not have a life.

I am glad that you will shed light on this important issue. Sometimes I think a lay person such as yourself can see things that someone in the field may see injustices that people in the field may accept as the status quo. Where we can improve lives, we cannot be content with the status quo!

Anonymous said...

WW rocks, Sarebear, and you do too!

Thanks for being so open--it's helped me quite a bit.

I just found out tonight that people have been talking about me for over a year now in this ward. I had wondered what was going on... now I know. The part I hate the most isn't that people think x,y, or z about me but that it affects how they treat my children and how they permit their children to interact with mine. If our children get together the other Moms might have to come in contact with the crazy lady--who knows if it's contagious?! *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Recently, I was mouring a little the life that I fantacize that I would have had were it not for my ocd. It is hard to know, but I think of myself in a marriage with children. I also see myself completing my degree of choice in Early Childhood Education. A greater part of me thinks there has been a purpose in this all and that it may have prevented me from the pain. Ocd has been wrought with pain, but I say something on t.v. today about a man who went to court about an accident with fire that sadly killed a lot of people. I have a lot of things go through my mind but nothing like that. A given fear will fade. I will be compulsive about the same fears again and again. But nothing like really living in the nightmare of the reality. I used to think I had suffered more than anybody that has lived on the face of the Earth EVER! I am glad that I am not that delusional these days! :-\

Anonymous said...

Tea, don't these people know that you are way cool! I am sorry though for where your children are enmeshed in people's lack of understanding.