Update: I just spoke with my psychologist over the phone. I had left him a message shortly after posting this Tatters post, as I recognized that I needed his help to cope with the feelings and thoughts I was having. I have also made a second appointment for later in the week next week, as, with this current crisis I am experiencing, coupled with my husband being gone for a week starting Sunday, that I will need some extra help and support this coming week. He was glad to oblige, and agreed that it was a valid thing for me to consider and request, given the circumstances. I have never been apart from my husband for longer than two nights at once.
How does one face the world each day, knowing that the way in which one presents ones' self to the world, may not be under your control?
That the way in which you interact with others . . . . is not a matter of deciding how you are going to do so.
I dunno. Does it sound like I'm looking for or making excuses? Probably.
Are the first two paragraphs, the way my experience of life has been so far?
Yes . . . I type as I sob with all my soul and what few tatters remain of my heart.
1 comment:
Keep reaching out to your psychologist and to family, and friends. Make your presence very known here at the blogs. While how you may be feeling on any given day and reacting to the world and treating others as a result of your condtion is uncertain what is a given is that you are a person who is able to analyze things when you are in your right mind and help people see the world in a way with remarkable clarity when you are on an even keel. You bless the lives of those around you Sara. I learn from you. Of course, I must admitt that I like much of what you say because I think to myself that I would have said that. Maybe it would not have been as polished or as fleshed out, but we seem to be on the same wave length in so many ways. I have pondered much of what you have pondered. One thing though in my pondering is that I do feel that we need to be careful with identifying with labels so much. People with the same labels still have very unique personalities. Everything that you do with your free-will to do good has worth. Your interests and pleasure you take from them is something that you should not take for granted. The laughter that you often know is something to be appreciated. Some are so sad all the time. You have a lot of good times and share those with those you love. I know it can feel lonely when you husband is away. Stay connected. :)
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