A Friend Knows the Song in Your Heart . . .

And sings it back to you when you've forgotten it. 

 Now, the therapeutic relationship isn't a friendship, per se; it's a rather unusual thing. Various approximations can be used to describe it - a professional friendship, confidante, approximate relationship, therapist (of course, that one is not an approximation), and other things. When I say it's not a friendship, it is because, of course, outside the office you don't socialize, etc. 

 Inside the office, you interact on a deep and personal level, at least, from the patient's side of things, although the therapist also is giving of themselves to help you see yourself and learn and grow and figure things out and such. 

 After such a long time working together, I know that he DOES care for my well being, although I'm not saying there's anything inappropriate. If he didn't care about his patients' progress, well being, and such, he wouldn't be doing (or at least, wouldn't be doing so well) what it is that he does . . . SO, with all that said, the term professional friendship kind of covers alot of the therapeutic relationship . . . obviously there are alot of boundaries, as is appropriate. 

 He reminded me, yesterday, that I am a person of great faith. I tend to want to feel bad for my horrid reactions yesterday, but at the same time I know that I MUST LET MYSELF FEEL and REACT to what I experience; trying to deny that is like trying to deny the Titanic didn't just strike an iceberg. I struck my own iceberg, and had and still have reactions to that. It's fine! I, and everyone else, are emotional beings. 

So, I know that the Lord knows what he's doing. That's great! 

 I don't know what He's doing, though. It's a good thing He does . . . lol! 

 With all that said, that doesn't make my experience any less difficult or any less painful, turbulent, and unstable. I feel extremely unstable. I discussed all this with my ologist yesterday, as well as I'm going to talk with him later over the phone for a bit; yesterday's session was . . . well there was much to cause a high level of worry in it, on his part.  

So o o o o ooooo . . . The Lord is at the helm, but I'm still seasick. That about sums it up. Very seasick. Don't you just love my analogies? Lol. Anyone have some airsickness bags handy? hee hee. 

 Yes, I sound rather chipper now, but that's actually just a sign of how volatile I am right now. Up, down, sideways, slantways (dontcha' just love Wonka's glass elevator!), every-which-ways. 

 No wonder I'm seasick (metaphorically speaking). I hope I don't bawl my eyes out at dd's baptism later this week! Cause I'll have both my families there, and that never happens, and that's alot of love and support in one place. Yes, I know the baptism is about her, but I can't help it that I'm going through one of the hardest things I've ever faced, right now. So, I'm looking forward to seeing friends and family on Saturday.  

Anyway, so that's how I'm doing. Not very well, and not nearly as well as I sound in this post. Off to go ride the see-saw s'more. Man, now I want s'mores . . . .