An old post from almost a year ago I stumbled across, here, has inspired me to a very modest goal of my own. My goal is 200 miles in 2008. That works out to @ .55 mile(s) a day. On average.
Thing is, I AM worried about my knee, but hopefully I'll quit procrastinating and call the dang doctor! I am aggravated by and frustrated with the front desk people at the group practice/Intermountain Health Care clinic/doctor's offices there, as far as trying to get anything useful out of them on a recommendation for and to an ortho. The PA I saw back in August recommended one, and even had an aide call them, to have them call me and set something up right away, but it turned out they were dropping United Health Care insurance within a few weeks (it's a major health insurance, especially here, and this is the only ortho clinic near me, but on the other hand I can understand frustration with insurance company practices, policies, price-setting, and there's part of me that approves of sticking it to UHC because their CEO's and that sort of corporate executive make some of the most ridiculously extravagant and extensive perks and salaries in the health insurance business. There's many reasons they are, I think I've heard, one of the most profitable insurance companies, and I'm sure some of those practices that help them be so are probably part of why this ortho clinic is dumping them)
Woops, side-rant there! It's annoying though, from both sides. Anyway, trying to get anything intelligent out of the desk help (and I've been a secretary and "desk" help in a semi-medical setting, so I don't rant at them lightly, knowing how hard-worked, underpaid, and under-appreciated they are) regarding which providers off the list of UHC ortho's might be good ones, ones my doc has worked with before, anything. The first couple of names I picked were the wrong kind of ortho's, more lifestyle ones, no surgery . . .though they do have some services that I like, like working on nutrition, losing weight, etc. Some of which would possibly not be covered by insurance, but that's ok. Still, I need an arhroscopy (I think that's the term) to see what's going on in there, and possibly new x-rays since it's been awhile since August. I HATE that I have to spend another co-pay just because of the office "help", and I'm going to let them and him know that. We can't spare it, but this hobbling around like a cripple, plus gaining weight from not being able to exercise, are getting old. I know some of it is weight related, but I had all that a year ago, this horrid stuff is from something going on, beyond the arthritis they discovered.
And what's up with just saying, by the way, you have arthritis, here's a scrip for some meds for that.
Nothing about, you'll have this the rest of your life (maybe this goes without saying, maybe much about arthritis is obvious, but for me, it's never been something I've thought about much at all, because I figured when I was 45 or 50 would be when I'd learn more . . . . so seriously, besides knowing it hurts, can get inflamed at times which is why anti-inflammatories like ibuprofen can be good for it (is naproxen one of those, too?), is in the joints, and interferes with functioning at varying times and degrees, that's about all I know. I mean, it'd be nice, and, I think, ESSENTIAL, if a doc would assume less, and TELL me what something MEANS for and to me, not just, by the way, you've got this. That PA (physician's assistant) was nice and all, but still . . . .
Docs, especially GP's (or PA's, my GP was on vacation and also works with a PA who handles some things, you can make an appointment with either but the PA is available much sooner usually) are so pressed-for time, something needs to CHANGE to make it so they can spend a little more time with each patient, geez! Yet not lose money because they might be seeing fewer by a couple, each day . . . . . and then there's all the paperwork, etc. I'm sure Doctor Anonymous, aka Dr. A, can chime in with some comments to this post, from his point of view (he's a GP).
More side-venting there, I guess (makes me sound like a multi-vent volcano, say, like Kilaueua (sp? I'll check it later!)). I understand why it's so hard to get thru to doc or get doc to call back on the phone, at best, I've gotten referred back to the nurse aide (not sure if full R.N.) or the lady that's worked for him since he first opened his practice back in the early 90's (which is when I started seeing him.)
He used to have a solo practice, but about 4-5 years ago moved his practice to an Intermountain Health Care building where some other doctors are, along with a lab, x-rays, etc. Solo practices are a difficult thing indeed to do, these days.
Okay, so back to the 200 miles in 2008 goal. I think I can do this, I KNOW I can. Some days my knee is better than others, and I'll keep it in mind; I can only walk a certain distance before the muscles stiffen from about 5" above the knee to about 5" below the knee and it can become like a tree trunk. So, I often ride those cart things around and about a store, nowadays, since however this "injury" or whatnot happened earlier this summer. I feel like an old cripple!
Anyway. I can walk some, and I can't stand the feeling I'm putting on weight. I may just be losing muscle weight and gaining belly girth, and working out to the same weight, but I've GOT to feel like I'm doing something about this!!!! I feel capable of actually starting a somewhat regular exercise regime since starting a med back in May; I started slowly and carefully, but that may be what led to the injury. Still, I'm eager to exercise; the mental health benefits are quite impressive. (anyone else hear that last word or two in Darth Vader's voice in your head as you read along? As the seasonal song says/sings, "Do you hear what I hear . . . . .)
I've got a simple pedometer around here that operates w/something that jiggles around inside; I'm such a geek, though, and I have a way online of tracking the output from a heartrate/pedometer dealie, and seeing graphs and charts from it, that if I could figure out how to get one of THOSE, I know it would also be an extra motivation, to help add to the graphs and charts! Seriously, that kind of thing is my cup of hot cocoa.
I know the ice cream binges I go on sometimes don't help, but those are when I'm approaching or are dangerously depressed; as my psychologist says, it's a bridge, for now, and we can work on the food issues at another time; it IS better than injuring or killing ones' self. Oh, I highly recommend my current addiction in this vein, Dreyer's Ltd. Butterfinger Loaded Ice Cream. Mmmmmmmm . . . .
Woops, back to the healthy stuff. This year, earlier in the year when we were more regularly buying that one apple that I discovered earlier this year that is not a variety I had tried before, that I had found by catching a whiff of a fruity scent I'd not ever tasted before, and that I followed with my nose until I found the source of it; for the LIFE of me the name of the apple is escaping me!!!!! Just like earlier when I was leaving a msg. for my ologist, and talking about efficacy, I kept saying effexor. Word problems, aphasia, etc.
I don't think it's Macintosh, my brain keeps trying to spit out "MacGyver", lol!!!! That's certainly not it, but an example of how my brain keeps looking in the "file folder" near or next to what it actually needs to pull up; you can see the similarity of the words MacIntosh and MacGyver, although they are certainly very different subjects, categories, etc.
I've got alot to say, I guess, and I also am manic since restarting a med at the usual dose, after being without it for most of last week (my husband had to eventually camp out in front of the psychiatrist's office last Friday before he opened and wait for him; he was half an hour late, as usual (why does he schedule 10:00 am appts. anyway if he knows he's usually late, is it because he'd come in at 11:00 am if he started appts. at 10:30?) The lateness thing doesn't bug me so much, a relaxed and more laid back shrink is a good thing. My last appt. with him had some rather uptightness on his part though, repeated a few times too many, which I have some response I need to discuss with him before we can proceed.
Ack. See? My mind is all over the place, I type really fast, but I've got all this stuff whirling inside! It's sort of a "Wheeeeeeeeeee!" kinda feeling, very bouyant, like on that Mythbusters episode where they tested how many helium balloons of the usual size it'd take to lift a person off the ground . . . . .
I've been looking up some low to no impact, as far as the knee thing goes, in the way of exercise online; I've seen references to exercising with one of those big ball things, there's "chair dancing", with some references to seniors doing it but being good for all, various types of water excercising, such as water-jogging, which I'd never heard of before; it involves wearing a flotation device of a usual sort, and being in water where you can't touch bottom, and maintaining a running posture with torso, shoulders, neck, arms, etc. as much as possible while "jogging" with the lower body (ie., avoid the tendency to lean forward in the water, and such). There's other water exercise options too . . . I'm looking also at one of those little bouncy/trampoline small board thingies one can attach to a Pilates or Total Gym type of machine; I have a Total Gym, and they say it's very gentle/low impact, even if the notion seems like it wouldn't be (you are doing it horizontally, one leg at a time, and it LOOKS low-impact, and yet they say it's good cardio . . . .). I s'pose I could pull out the Total Gym and do things not involving the knees, or that knee at any rate, I dunno.
But.
200 miles in 2008. Maybe I'll make up a little graphic, which anyone can use if they put it on their own server or photo upload account, and put in the sidebar of your blog, to show your participation.
If you've made it this far, thanks and congratulations! I might report here how my mileage goes, if I can find that low-tech, perhaps not as accurate, pedometer thing.
I'm also going to figure out how many miles of yarn I have, and how many miles I've knit and crocheted, hee! You wouldn't believe the numbers some fiber crafters have as far as those "stats", lol!
To be cliche, I guess it really is a manic monday . . . . . la la la la la . . .
Edited to add: GALA apples. THAT's the apple I was trying to rememnber! Took me until about 5:30pm to remember that, it just came to me! I also remember I got sidetracked from why I was talking about fruit in the first place; when we have those apples, and grapes when they aren't ridiculously priced (I especially like a variety of green, red, and black; I know the red ones have more anti-oxidants or something, but I just love to taste the differences as well as the visual stimulation of the contrasting, delicious colors!), I actually eat alot healthier, because then I'm full of apple and grape, and not snacking on other stuff. Carrots and baby carrots are great too; dip adds some calories and fat, but it's not too bad; we mix up our own. Pluots (Plum/apricot combo, looks like a plum, and taste is probably 2/3 to 3/4 plum, the rest apricot. It was very pleasant, and actually the pluminess/apricottiness of it was not consistent throughout, they were blended well in many places, but leaned stronger towards one or the other throughtout the fruit; I liked that! It felt like a nice, new, hybrid kind of fruit, and I liked that it felt like a melding without mixing it to completely blended in. Simple things, but they make it ALOT easier to be healthier! They just seem like they are so costly, so extravagant . . .
Monday, December 17, 2007
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Disability Application Process: Death by Paperwork
How many trees, exactly, were used in this process, anyway? A ridiculous number, for one person, I suspect.
A post elsewhere reminded me I'd been meaning to post these pages of a form several of my docs each filled out during the process, for my lawyer. In many different forms & questionnaires and such from the SSA, I suppose I also answered in these matters at various times, although, if you are going through the process, you'll see that much of the paperwork is physical disability oriented. How many pounds can you lift, and so forth.
I've said this before, but the process is hell. Part of it is looking, or trying to, look at yourself in terms of how you function, or rather, DON'T function, in certain ways, in certain capacities, to certain degrees.
Hell, just to survive, at least with me, there are many of these things you either don't see about yourself, can't see about yourself, or are sort of "blanked out" via a sort of mental "white-out" (like the office supply) because if you DID see these things, think about them, associate them, think about what it/they MEAN about you . . . . . you'd hate yourself to the depths of the universe and back, even more. You'd even perhaps try to kill yourself (as I once tried, in very, very large part because it hit me, all at once, how very poor my functioning as a human being, as a worker, as a social entity, as anything, was.) As I also came close to doing, at several points during the disability application process. When I say the process is killer, it literally could be, and I bet it has, tragically, caused some to do so.
But they'd rather prevent even one fraudulant, faker claimant (as the judge said, in his own words, though), than approve someone deserving who thought that most of these things about me, were just ME, were just flaws in my character, in my me-ness, in my who I AM-ness, in my Sara-ness, that they were JUST ME, so I had no idea that I should even bring them up to a doctor, many of them anyway. The judge pretty much said that, that they'd rather prevent one fraudulent, than let through one deserving person who had these problems, even though this deserving person had had no idea it was anything other than just being herself, that was the "wrongness". Not in those words, but it was . . . . a very bad day for me.
It was a little over a year ago now, and I still have held off at arm's length much of what this decision meant/means for me.
Anyway, here's a look at some of the jarring out of my blinders/self-protective/not even realizing how bad off I was, though I was, place I was in, when I received a questionnaire back from one of my docs:
Imagine, for a moment, that it is YOU, and you are seeing this look at yourself for the first time . . . you knew there were problems, but to see how a professional assesses you, . . . just try to FEEL that.
A post elsewhere reminded me I'd been meaning to post these pages of a form several of my docs each filled out during the process, for my lawyer. In many different forms & questionnaires and such from the SSA, I suppose I also answered in these matters at various times, although, if you are going through the process, you'll see that much of the paperwork is physical disability oriented. How many pounds can you lift, and so forth.
I've said this before, but the process is hell. Part of it is looking, or trying to, look at yourself in terms of how you function, or rather, DON'T function, in certain ways, in certain capacities, to certain degrees.
Hell, just to survive, at least with me, there are many of these things you either don't see about yourself, can't see about yourself, or are sort of "blanked out" via a sort of mental "white-out" (like the office supply) because if you DID see these things, think about them, associate them, think about what it/they MEAN about you . . . . . you'd hate yourself to the depths of the universe and back, even more. You'd even perhaps try to kill yourself (as I once tried, in very, very large part because it hit me, all at once, how very poor my functioning as a human being, as a worker, as a social entity, as anything, was.) As I also came close to doing, at several points during the disability application process. When I say the process is killer, it literally could be, and I bet it has, tragically, caused some to do so.
But they'd rather prevent even one fraudulant, faker claimant (as the judge said, in his own words, though), than approve someone deserving who thought that most of these things about me, were just ME, were just flaws in my character, in my me-ness, in my who I AM-ness, in my Sara-ness, that they were JUST ME, so I had no idea that I should even bring them up to a doctor, many of them anyway. The judge pretty much said that, that they'd rather prevent one fraudulent, than let through one deserving person who had these problems, even though this deserving person had had no idea it was anything other than just being herself, that was the "wrongness". Not in those words, but it was . . . . a very bad day for me.
It was a little over a year ago now, and I still have held off at arm's length much of what this decision meant/means for me.
Anyway, here's a look at some of the jarring out of my blinders/self-protective/not even realizing how bad off I was, though I was, place I was in, when I received a questionnaire back from one of my docs:
Imagine, for a moment, that it is YOU, and you are seeing this look at yourself for the first time . . . you knew there were problems, but to see how a professional assesses you, . . . just try to FEEL that.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Presidential Candidates Compared on Health Plan & Mental Health Parity Issues
Click the title above to go to an article at About.com regarding where the top three presidential candidates from each of the two major parties stand on issues of health insurance and especially the mental health parity issue.
Mental health parity means that insurance companies would have to cover mental illness the same way they treat the coverage of other, traditionally covered with many fewer restrictions (relatively speaking) illnesses, such as diabetes or pneumonia, etc. If they don't limit a diabetic to two doctor visits a year (I'm speaking from a rather unknowledgeable position as regards diabetes), which I don't think they do because I think diabetics need more frequent visits in order to keep the illness in check? - Then they couldn't limit mental health visits to two a year, or whatever number.
In my case, it is 20 therapy visits. A better example might be, if they don't limit therapy visits to 20 per year for, say, someone who's had a stroke and needs the therapy, then they couldn't for mental health. I don't think the parity is tied to any one specific more traditionally thought of as "physical" illness (mental illness IS physical; there's problems in the chemical and structural aspects of the brain and nervous system, as well as many physical effects of such illness), but I just wanted to throw out some examples.
I found this About.com article to be an interesting comparison of these candidates on these issues, and was also pleased to note the following:
I'll be checking back, that's for sure!
This article also references material at Health08.org, which looks to be a nice resource regarding these issues and the stances, policies, plans, platforms, politics, thoughts, et. al which the candidates have published, expressed, or otherwise stated regarding these matters. The comparison was put together by
I am pleased to see that this one will naturally be regularly updated, as well. The About.com article does note that the comparison at this linked site appears to be missing a bit of information regarding Mr. Obama's position.
I may not have the exact meaning of mental health parity nailed down, but regardless of any inaccuracies on my part, I thought it important to post about the subject while I had enough "oomph" to do so.
It appears that the Republicans do need to step it up. I say this as an American citizen, but also as a Republican. I do remember hearing in an interview with John Edwards earlier this year, or late last year, his answer to a question regarding mental health care coverage & parity; I was EXTREMELY pleased as well as surprised to hear that he had a definite, although not as fully formed then, notion of what he wanted to say on the matter - it was more than just a sentence or two, sound-bite answer; he had researched (well, okay, the interns and others probably do that, but candidates have to read or be briefed on the content) and THOUGHT THROUGH some of the difficulties that the mentally ill have had when it comes to trying to afford getting help.
I was extremely pleased, despite his being a Democrat, because I suspected that this meant the issue was going to be brought forward more, dealt with more, discussed and fleshed out more, as the campaigns began and moved forward.
On a more personal level, I must say I'm a bit aghast that Rudy Giuliani is at the head of the pack of Republican candidates; it is not due to the fact that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as is Mitt Romney, but rather because I think people have this public image of Mr. Giuliani that is perhaps a bit disengenuous and a bit idealized, to say just a little on the matter, which may contribute to resulting in a far different Chief Executive than the one they perceived they were voting for. Although, I'd guess that any following of any particular candidate probably idealizes that candidate, as might naturally follow from all the enthusiasm worked up in the spirit of trying to help your candidate get elected.
I'm not trying to start any political fights! I just thought I'd throw a few of my personal thoughts, that are rather preliminary at this point in the campaigns, out there.
Mental health parity means that insurance companies would have to cover mental illness the same way they treat the coverage of other, traditionally covered with many fewer restrictions (relatively speaking) illnesses, such as diabetes or pneumonia, etc. If they don't limit a diabetic to two doctor visits a year (I'm speaking from a rather unknowledgeable position as regards diabetes), which I don't think they do because I think diabetics need more frequent visits in order to keep the illness in check? - Then they couldn't limit mental health visits to two a year, or whatever number.
In my case, it is 20 therapy visits. A better example might be, if they don't limit therapy visits to 20 per year for, say, someone who's had a stroke and needs the therapy, then they couldn't for mental health. I don't think the parity is tied to any one specific more traditionally thought of as "physical" illness (mental illness IS physical; there's problems in the chemical and structural aspects of the brain and nervous system, as well as many physical effects of such illness), but I just wanted to throw out some examples.
I found this About.com article to be an interesting comparison of these candidates on these issues, and was also pleased to note the following:
We will be following the top 3 candidates in each party for their positions on health care as it relates to those with mental illnesses. This page will be updated if the ranking of candidates change and/or when a candidate announces a new or changed policy.
I'll be checking back, that's for sure!
This article also references material at Health08.org, which looks to be a nice resource regarding these issues and the stances, policies, plans, platforms, politics, thoughts, et. al which the candidates have published, expressed, or otherwise stated regarding these matters. The comparison was put together by
the Kaiser Family Foundation with the assistance of Health Policy Alternatives, Inc. and is based on information appearing on the candidates' websites as supplemented by information from candidate speeches, the campaign debates and news reports. The sources of information are identified for each candidate's summary (with links to the Internet). The comparison highlights information on the candidates' positions related to access to health care coverage, cost containment, improving the quality of care and financing. Information will be updated regularly as the campaign unfolds.
I am pleased to see that this one will naturally be regularly updated, as well. The About.com article does note that the comparison at this linked site appears to be missing a bit of information regarding Mr. Obama's position.
I may not have the exact meaning of mental health parity nailed down, but regardless of any inaccuracies on my part, I thought it important to post about the subject while I had enough "oomph" to do so.
It appears that the Republicans do need to step it up. I say this as an American citizen, but also as a Republican. I do remember hearing in an interview with John Edwards earlier this year, or late last year, his answer to a question regarding mental health care coverage & parity; I was EXTREMELY pleased as well as surprised to hear that he had a definite, although not as fully formed then, notion of what he wanted to say on the matter - it was more than just a sentence or two, sound-bite answer; he had researched (well, okay, the interns and others probably do that, but candidates have to read or be briefed on the content) and THOUGHT THROUGH some of the difficulties that the mentally ill have had when it comes to trying to afford getting help.
I was extremely pleased, despite his being a Democrat, because I suspected that this meant the issue was going to be brought forward more, dealt with more, discussed and fleshed out more, as the campaigns began and moved forward.
On a more personal level, I must say I'm a bit aghast that Rudy Giuliani is at the head of the pack of Republican candidates; it is not due to the fact that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as is Mitt Romney, but rather because I think people have this public image of Mr. Giuliani that is perhaps a bit disengenuous and a bit idealized, to say just a little on the matter, which may contribute to resulting in a far different Chief Executive than the one they perceived they were voting for. Although, I'd guess that any following of any particular candidate probably idealizes that candidate, as might naturally follow from all the enthusiasm worked up in the spirit of trying to help your candidate get elected.
I'm not trying to start any political fights! I just thought I'd throw a few of my personal thoughts, that are rather preliminary at this point in the campaigns, out there.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Get Bent! - An Artist With a Bent Sense of Humour
I definitely love a good laugh, as well as have a silly side to my personality.I discovered an artist some months ago who seems to incorporate those same things into his work. I asked him for permission to share a few of his photographs with you, and he granted it! He writes a blog by the name of "Bent Objects". Apparently he's also now submitting a book for publishing!
This first work, entitled "Aaarrrsh-mallows!", is my favorite of his most recent several, but only by a hair! Even if they ARE being forced to their "death"! Such a delicious way to go . . . .
His vignettes are clever, as well as ticklish to the funny bone! They touch a place inside me, that is carefree and full of delight; it's a joy when I see that another work has been posted! There's a hammer/nails one that really hits it right on the head . . .
I leave you with one that is a little . . . . twisted (hee!). It is entitled "Sometimes, Being Special Isn't So Special". Click post title to go to his blog for further "bent" perspectives!
Monday, October 15, 2007
Blurtle the Turtle
I blurt a little too much, but when it's about my mental health it's generally after I've gotten to know someone a bit, and vice versa, when it's someone I tell about it at all.
My tumbling, pressured speech/speaking, this waterfall of thoughts that how much I'm able to hold in or not varies widely, is extremely frustrating when I'm putting every erg of my will towards plugging all the holes in the dam thing, and there's anywhere from a few to hundreds more holes in the dam than I've got digits with which to plug them up.
People tend not to like people who can't help themselves in speech/speaking/typing like that.
At the very same second as I'm exerting all my will, and stuff comes out anyway, I feel so horrid inside because I was raised that everyone is a conscious being, with control over ones' self. If I can't stop the tumble of word salad, even tho putting everything in to doing so, THAT MEANS I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF MYSELF and that scares me.
If I can't control myself, who can? Hrm. Sounds like the best kind of reason to off ones' self, to me.
I don't expect it to make sense to any of you, though.
I take responsibility for myself but that's in complete contradiction to not being able to control ones' self despite every bit of force of will I can bring to (sare)bear.
I am SO pulled apart by completely contradicting stuff like this, in so many different issues . . . I guess it's a wonder I get anything done at all, anyway.
See? In two paragraphs, I go from an intellectual hypothetically "valid" reason to end things, to a much more mellow, self-accepting, hey, it's understandable, just keep working, there's alot going on here, one bit at a time, kind of thing.
Again, this complete turnaround type of thing is another reason I'm probably not so likeable, either.
I'm tempted to say I can't help it, but then, I take responsibility for myself, so that doesn't fly with me. And yet, there's two more contradictorily opposite things going on. Anyway.
I take responsibility for not being able to help it. I'm gonna have to think about that one, because it's not like I'm responsible for the fact that I have these illnesses and such. And since not being able to help it, tho trying my hardest, is a direct effect of the illnesses . . . see? more contradictions . . .
I didn't realize most of this crap until I'd typed it, as I was typing.
This is just to provide a window into how some of the struggle with mental illness, in my life, works. I'm not going to end things or anything.
I know I am not my illnesses. This blog, in large part though, is intended to help illuminate issues and experiences involved with mental illness & health, and to sometimes show what it is like to help foster greater understanding and/or awareness.
My tumbling, pressured speech/speaking, this waterfall of thoughts that how much I'm able to hold in or not varies widely, is extremely frustrating when I'm putting every erg of my will towards plugging all the holes in the dam thing, and there's anywhere from a few to hundreds more holes in the dam than I've got digits with which to plug them up.
People tend not to like people who can't help themselves in speech/speaking/typing like that.
At the very same second as I'm exerting all my will, and stuff comes out anyway, I feel so horrid inside because I was raised that everyone is a conscious being, with control over ones' self. If I can't stop the tumble of word salad, even tho putting everything in to doing so, THAT MEANS I AM NOT IN CONTROL OF MYSELF and that scares me.
If I can't control myself, who can? Hrm. Sounds like the best kind of reason to off ones' self, to me.
I don't expect it to make sense to any of you, though.
I take responsibility for myself but that's in complete contradiction to not being able to control ones' self despite every bit of force of will I can bring to (sare)bear.
I am SO pulled apart by completely contradicting stuff like this, in so many different issues . . . I guess it's a wonder I get anything done at all, anyway.
See? In two paragraphs, I go from an intellectual hypothetically "valid" reason to end things, to a much more mellow, self-accepting, hey, it's understandable, just keep working, there's alot going on here, one bit at a time, kind of thing.
Again, this complete turnaround type of thing is another reason I'm probably not so likeable, either.
I'm tempted to say I can't help it, but then, I take responsibility for myself, so that doesn't fly with me. And yet, there's two more contradictorily opposite things going on. Anyway.
I take responsibility for not being able to help it. I'm gonna have to think about that one, because it's not like I'm responsible for the fact that I have these illnesses and such. And since not being able to help it, tho trying my hardest, is a direct effect of the illnesses . . . see? more contradictions . . .
I didn't realize most of this crap until I'd typed it, as I was typing.
This is just to provide a window into how some of the struggle with mental illness, in my life, works. I'm not going to end things or anything.
I know I am not my illnesses. This blog, in large part though, is intended to help illuminate issues and experiences involved with mental illness & health, and to sometimes show what it is like to help foster greater understanding and/or awareness.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Bringing Attention to Mental Health Issues - I AM HI
Actor Crush of the Day: Pierce Brosnan & Ewan McGregor - Cause how could a gal be expected to choose between them? Today, anyway!
Visions of luscious British Isles eyecandy (although it's the voice, too) aside, I've got some bravery to report.
Firstly, the local news radio station is KSL 1160, associated with the TV station KSL channel 5. Today the Movie Show they do on Fridays, with one of my favorite newsradio people to listen to, Doug Wright, was broadcasting near one of our morning errands today, so we popped in to the Seagull Book store to see 'em.
I felt kind of foolish walking in to a store with a van with flashing lights out front, but in we went. They were at the back of the store, doing their thing, and it was cool to hear and see them in person, although very strange when they were obviously speaking with a call-in person, as we couldn't hear that component. They had a drawing going for various smaller prizes, as well as for a beautifully framed art print of the Savior.
We noodled around a bit, looking through the books (this is a book store that caters to the LDS (Mormon) faith, and at that, does so at discount (sometimes steep) prices. There are books here that you'd find in regular bookstores, as well. I was looking through some of these, particularly a gorgeous coffee-table book (though on the small side, as that type of book goes) of National Park pictures; oh, such stunning vistas, formations, features, and seasons!!
They eventually wrapped up the show with the prize drawing, and then I approached the table. I addressed Doug, and he stood up, leaned forward, and shook my hand, asking my name. While I was answering I was thinking, "Wow, his face is HUGE." Maybe an odd thing to think, but there you go. And it was. Big face, I mean. He smiled at me, and it took up his whole face and made it bigger. So that's why I thought that, anyway.
Awkwardness aside I mentioned how I had talked to him about 18 months ago on-air when he had the governor on, that I had spoken about mental health issues, and that I certainly didn't expect him to remember me but wondered if he did? He didn't seem to, so I kept going by having a short discussion with him about maybe doing some shows on Mental Health issues, and how the broken system turns away people who have no options to get better or improve, without treatment. He also said something about how if we can't even get CHIP to pass, what chance does mental health have? I agreed, although didn't realize the CHIP thing was vetoed until I came home and saw it online. I had mentioned in general the various bills in front of Congress, and such, and that I think it'd be great if they could do some shows on those.
SO, just think of me as the awareness fairy, sprinkling increased awareness of mental health issues pixie dust, wherever I roam . . . .
Get out your wands, and spread the IAMHI pixie dust. It's free, and it's sparkley (in my mind, so appropo), and it's good for society. Zero calories, fat, or carbohydrates. It makes you feel goooooood . . . . . if someone asks you what you are doing, just tell them, "I AM HI*"
*Note: Perhaps not to a cop or doctor. Hee hee.
Visions of luscious British Isles eyecandy (although it's the voice, too) aside, I've got some bravery to report.
Firstly, the local news radio station is KSL 1160, associated with the TV station KSL channel 5. Today the Movie Show they do on Fridays, with one of my favorite newsradio people to listen to, Doug Wright, was broadcasting near one of our morning errands today, so we popped in to the Seagull Book store to see 'em.
I felt kind of foolish walking in to a store with a van with flashing lights out front, but in we went. They were at the back of the store, doing their thing, and it was cool to hear and see them in person, although very strange when they were obviously speaking with a call-in person, as we couldn't hear that component. They had a drawing going for various smaller prizes, as well as for a beautifully framed art print of the Savior.
We noodled around a bit, looking through the books (this is a book store that caters to the LDS (Mormon) faith, and at that, does so at discount (sometimes steep) prices. There are books here that you'd find in regular bookstores, as well. I was looking through some of these, particularly a gorgeous coffee-table book (though on the small side, as that type of book goes) of National Park pictures; oh, such stunning vistas, formations, features, and seasons!!
They eventually wrapped up the show with the prize drawing, and then I approached the table. I addressed Doug, and he stood up, leaned forward, and shook my hand, asking my name. While I was answering I was thinking, "Wow, his face is HUGE." Maybe an odd thing to think, but there you go. And it was. Big face, I mean. He smiled at me, and it took up his whole face and made it bigger. So that's why I thought that, anyway.
Awkwardness aside I mentioned how I had talked to him about 18 months ago on-air when he had the governor on, that I had spoken about mental health issues, and that I certainly didn't expect him to remember me but wondered if he did? He didn't seem to, so I kept going by having a short discussion with him about maybe doing some shows on Mental Health issues, and how the broken system turns away people who have no options to get better or improve, without treatment. He also said something about how if we can't even get CHIP to pass, what chance does mental health have? I agreed, although didn't realize the CHIP thing was vetoed until I came home and saw it online. I had mentioned in general the various bills in front of Congress, and such, and that I think it'd be great if they could do some shows on those.
SO, just think of me as the awareness fairy, sprinkling increased awareness of mental health issues pixie dust, wherever I roam . . . .
Get out your wands, and spread the IAMHI pixie dust. It's free, and it's sparkley (in my mind, so appropo), and it's good for society. Zero calories, fat, or carbohydrates. It makes you feel goooooood . . . . . if someone asks you what you are doing, just tell them, "I AM HI*"
*Note: Perhaps not to a cop or doctor. Hee hee.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Organizing via Customizable Planners in General & Specifically for Mental Health Issues
I stumbled across a site called DIY Planner - this site happens to have all sorts of printable forms, pages, what-have-you, for pages to fit both physically as well as with the principals of most any planner system/organizing methodology out there, such as Stephen Covey's or David Allen's GTD (Getting Things Done). You can also create your own templates (there will be a guide to facilitate this, as well), and browse, download, and print those which have been designed by other users. I note that a recent template created or suggested by a user is a Radio/chemotherapy side effects journal, which states that it
As you can see, the potential for a great deal of personalization and usefulness is inherent in this excellent and most helpful array of personal productivity printable pages, templates, and such.
There is more helpful information to be had there; I highly recommend browsing the Article Topics at the top left side of the page, as clicking through will pull up all the posts regarding that subject.
I'm not endorsing any particular method, system, or school of thought on time, life, or personal management, but I DO like to cherry-pick concepts that I feel are enlightening and beneficial for me and use them when and where applicable. There are a variety of personal/time/life management topics efficiently tagged and organized at this website, as an additional resourcel.
I am not affiliated with any of these sites in any way; I just appreciate a potentially helpful resource when I see one and thought that I'd share my finds with you. Also, one could customize some planner pages for PieBolar-blog related topics such as tracking your moods, which would be helpful for assessing your stability and effectiveness of your meds; remembering therapy and/or psychiatrist appointments; tracking your meds themselves including dosage, changes, instructions, side effects, things to watch out for, for which side effects you've been instructed to call your doc ASAP or for which do you go to the ER, etc.
In fact, I may customize a template or two for the medications issues, myself! In many illnesses, chronic conditions, injuries, etc. and combinations thereof, one can end up on a sometimes daunting array of prescriptions. I think centralizing the information on my medicines will be helpful to me, because instead of having a variety of Rx bottles floating around the apartment with the associated name, dosing, date, whether refills are left, pharmacy number, prescribing doc, etc., information also scattered hither and yon, I'd have a beneficially simple process and conveniently accessible locale for this supremely important personal data.
One last thing I found, that I may be utilizing for myself that I discovered today is Free Goal Setting.com; you can have your goal email itself to you weekly, as a nice reminder, if it suits you.
"is a powerful self-monitoring tool for use in conjunction with a personal diary.
This is a week on two pages, Radio/chemotherapy journal in Classic/half-letter as requested by one of our members."
As you can see, the potential for a great deal of personalization and usefulness is inherent in this excellent and most helpful array of personal productivity printable pages, templates, and such.
There is more helpful information to be had there; I highly recommend browsing the Article Topics at the top left side of the page, as clicking through will pull up all the posts regarding that subject.
I'm not endorsing any particular method, system, or school of thought on time, life, or personal management, but I DO like to cherry-pick concepts that I feel are enlightening and beneficial for me and use them when and where applicable. There are a variety of personal/time/life management topics efficiently tagged and organized at this website, as an additional resourcel.
I am not affiliated with any of these sites in any way; I just appreciate a potentially helpful resource when I see one and thought that I'd share my finds with you. Also, one could customize some planner pages for PieBolar-blog related topics such as tracking your moods, which would be helpful for assessing your stability and effectiveness of your meds; remembering therapy and/or psychiatrist appointments; tracking your meds themselves including dosage, changes, instructions, side effects, things to watch out for, for which side effects you've been instructed to call your doc ASAP or for which do you go to the ER, etc.
In fact, I may customize a template or two for the medications issues, myself! In many illnesses, chronic conditions, injuries, etc. and combinations thereof, one can end up on a sometimes daunting array of prescriptions. I think centralizing the information on my medicines will be helpful to me, because instead of having a variety of Rx bottles floating around the apartment with the associated name, dosing, date, whether refills are left, pharmacy number, prescribing doc, etc., information also scattered hither and yon, I'd have a beneficially simple process and conveniently accessible locale for this supremely important personal data.
One last thing I found, that I may be utilizing for myself that I discovered today is Free Goal Setting.com; you can have your goal email itself to you weekly, as a nice reminder, if it suits you.
Monday, June 25, 2007
This blog's content rated movie-style!
Mingle2 - Online Dating
The funniest part, is the following:
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
* crap (2x) * death (1x)
I just about died laughing when I read that! See, I agree with the rating, given the intensity and rawness of some of the posts, the depth of exploration of issues of mental illness, mental health, and such that I do here (not often enough, as of late), the bareing of my struggle . . .
So, after thinking THAT, it was so hilarious to me to see what the rating was based on.
My blog has lessened in the type of stuff re: mental illness and my experiences with, and issues regarding, in the last year or so. I think, perhaps, that I have so many conflicting feelings about ***************, that I have been and felt . . . . restricted, constricted.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
You Scared Some of the Heck Right Out of Me!
Some recent funnies, from my daughter (the title of this post is the most recent; she just burst out with that 2 minutes ago when hubby startled her!)
DD: Ewww-wwww!
Me: What're you saying ewww-www about?
DD: Puberty!
(recently I had been discussing with hubby that sometime in the next couple of years, she may start puberty; I hope it's 4 or 5 years, but it could be sooner.)
DD: Ants don't have eyelids!
(She says it's because they can't shut them. She was watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and the big Ant.)
I'm still giggling inside, and grinning on the outside, from the title of this post; just SOME of the heck? What about the rest of it? Lol . . . .
DD: Ewww-wwww!
Me: What're you saying ewww-www about?
DD: Puberty!
(recently I had been discussing with hubby that sometime in the next couple of years, she may start puberty; I hope it's 4 or 5 years, but it could be sooner.)
DD: Ants don't have eyelids!
(She says it's because they can't shut them. She was watching Honey I Shrunk the Kids, and the big Ant.)
I'm still giggling inside, and grinning on the outside, from the title of this post; just SOME of the heck? What about the rest of it? Lol . . . .
Monday, June 18, 2007
Funny "Page Not Found" Content
Have you ever had one of those "Page Not Found"-type errors, when surfing to an old bookmark link that is now broken, or some other page that the location specified can't find . . . sometimes I've run across one where the IT/Web Guru/Programmer person has used their sense of humor to make this oft-encountered error a little bit more entertaining and less mundane.
For example, when I'm using Google Reader to read new entries in some blogs I read, and I hit "Next Page", or otherwise run out of new entries, it ends up at a Google page seen Here. If you click the link on that funny page, you wind up HERE. A la Clue the movie, if you'd like to see some different endings, you may find several here.
They gave me a pretty good giggle; on one of them I almost hit the back button as a reflex, when seeing the type of "not found" info which comes up; it's formatted JUST LIKE it really would look, except the content is . . . different. Hee hee hee!
I especially like the one that tells you how to get back to the beginning of the internet . . . . I'm tempted to make a joke about my OCD on that one, but that might perhaps be too stereotypical.
The cream of the crop today, is the one below; it was on a Page Not Found type screen, in a small box, like a scrolling chat window. It typed itself out letter and line by line (at a good but not too fast or too slow speed). This really made it "feel" like the server was talking to me, with personality. I thought it really funny, although my mental health stigma antennae went up a little bit after so many mentions of depression, and manic depression. Still, I can take a joke, and it is funny; it'd just be nice if people didn't overdo it so much, as it is a bit overdone, here, which I think is not that helpful. I'm posting it anyway, though, as I think my readers can see the humor, and yet also see the overusage. Anyway, have a good giggle, follow some of the links today, and let me know what you think, and which ones particularly made you laugh!
The requested document is totally fake.
No "/nosuchfile" here.
Even tried multi.
Nothing helped.
I'm really depressed about this.
You see, I'm just a web server...
-- here I am, brain the size of the universe,_
trying to serve you a simple web page,
and then it doesn't even exist!
Where does that leave me?!
I mean, I don't even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess*
what someone I don't even *know*_
wants to find here?
*sigh*
Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?
It's not pretty when a web server cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I'm a web server,_
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
Huh?
I'm so depressed...
I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?_
What kind of a life is that?
Two nasty little weeks,
and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release,
that thinks it's God's gift to web servers,
just because it doesn't have some tiddly little
security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,
or something.
I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,_
I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
But I couldn't get this one.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,_
although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
Figures, huh?
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload,_
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I'm so depressed._
For example, when I'm using Google Reader to read new entries in some blogs I read, and I hit "Next Page", or otherwise run out of new entries, it ends up at a Google page seen Here. If you click the link on that funny page, you wind up HERE. A la Clue the movie, if you'd like to see some different endings, you may find several here.
They gave me a pretty good giggle; on one of them I almost hit the back button as a reflex, when seeing the type of "not found" info which comes up; it's formatted JUST LIKE it really would look, except the content is . . . different. Hee hee hee!
I especially like the one that tells you how to get back to the beginning of the internet . . . . I'm tempted to make a joke about my OCD on that one, but that might perhaps be too stereotypical.
The cream of the crop today, is the one below; it was on a Page Not Found type screen, in a small box, like a scrolling chat window. It typed itself out letter and line by line (at a good but not too fast or too slow speed). This really made it "feel" like the server was talking to me, with personality. I thought it really funny, although my mental health stigma antennae went up a little bit after so many mentions of depression, and manic depression. Still, I can take a joke, and it is funny; it'd just be nice if people didn't overdo it so much, as it is a bit overdone, here, which I think is not that helpful. I'm posting it anyway, though, as I think my readers can see the humor, and yet also see the overusage. Anyway, have a good giggle, follow some of the links today, and let me know what you think, and which ones particularly made you laugh!
The requested document is totally fake.
No "/nosuchfile" here.
Even tried multi.
Nothing helped.
I'm really depressed about this.
You see, I'm just a web server...
-- here I am, brain the size of the universe,_
trying to serve you a simple web page,
and then it doesn't even exist!
Where does that leave me?!
I mean, I don't even know you.
How should I know what you wanted from me?
You honestly think I can *guess*
what someone I don't even *know*_
wants to find here?
*sigh*
Man, I'm so depressed I could just cry.
And then where would we be, I ask you?
It's not pretty when a web server cries.
And where do you get off telling me what to show anyway?
Just because I'm a web server,_
and possibly a manic depressive one at that?
Why does that give you the right to tell me what to do?
Huh?
I'm so depressed...
I think I'll crawl off into the trash can and decompose.
I mean, I'm gonna be obsolete in what, two weeks anyway?_
What kind of a life is that?
Two nasty little weeks,
and then I'll be replaced by a .01 release,
that thinks it's God's gift to web servers,
just because it doesn't have some tiddly little
security hole with its HTTP POST implementation,
or something.
I'm really sorry to burden you with all this,_
I mean, it's not your job to listen to my problems,
and I guess it is my job to go and fetch web pages for you.
But I couldn't get this one.
I'm so sorry.
Believe me!
Maybe I could interest you in another page?
There are a lot out there that are pretty neat, they say,_
although none of them were put on *my* server, of course.
Figures, huh?
Everything here is just mind-numbingly stupid.
That makes me depressed too, since I have to serve them,
all day and all night long.
Two weeks of information overload,_
and then *pffftt*, consigned to the trash.
What kind of a life is that?
Now, please let me sulk alone.
I'm so depressed._
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Add Art
Hat tip to MAKE blog, which is where I learned about an upcoming Firefox extension called AddArt.
It'll replace the ads on websites with art from a curated database. That'll make my internet-surfing a delight, for sure!
(Ooo, I've gotta see fine art more; just browsed some Renoir, and the SHEER beauty is just breath-taking! Now I've got a goal to see some Renoirs in person!)
The Garden in Montmartre, 1890, Renoir
It'll replace the ads on websites with art from a curated database. That'll make my internet-surfing a delight, for sure!
(Ooo, I've gotta see fine art more; just browsed some Renoir, and the SHEER beauty is just breath-taking! Now I've got a goal to see some Renoirs in person!)
The Garden in Montmartre, 1890, Renoir
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Whaddaya Know . . . . Good Things CAN Still Happen . . . .
Although I still think it is extremely unlikely, ever, that good things WILL happen. That is what life has taught me.
Anyway, one of the psychiatrists I've left a message for just called me back; I've called a number of them, and some of these have let me know that everyone in their whole BUILDING are not taking new patients, thus wiping a whole slew of names off of my list of psychiatrists off my list.
This iatrist I just spoke with, told me he gets 2-8 people a day calling him, needing a new psychiatrist. Geez, no wonder the psychiatrists around here turned me down; there's no way a psychiatrist could take that many on, they'd get swamped!
I think one reason he took me is because I had mentioned my bad experience with Dr. Brinley, and how I was frightened of seeing a psychiatrist now, and how I haven't been able to find one anyway. Also, I mentioned being referred to him by my ologist; his was one of the names my ologist marked on the list of providers I printed out from UHC's website. Well, Live and Work Well's website, the mental health gateway provider for UHC, or whatever one calls that sort of thing. Mental Health Access Manaqer. That reminds me, I'd better call them to pre-authorize this psychiatrist visit.
From the 20 minutes we spent on the phone (and I am pleased and surprised that he'd take that amount of time to speak with me!), it seems like we will be a really good fit, as far as doctor/patient relationship goes, psychiatrist/patient relationship being a bit different than a GP/patient relationship.
So, I am nervous and scared, but there is good potential here. He'll see me for at least an hour and a half initially, to really find out what's going on and stuff; he asked me to organize my med history, as to what I've been on, how long, when, beneficial effects, side effects, etc. I can SO do that, and would have anyway, but I'm glad he asked. We'll also talk about some other stuff.
Anyway, this is really, REALLY, EXCEPTIONALLY great news. Especially since, the last 4-5 months my meds have been losing effectiveness steadily, it seems.
Wish me luck, and courage, and strength, and stuff!
Otherwise, life sucks, is the pits, horrible, yucky, stupid, awful, horrendous, etc. I try, WITHOUT those attitudes, and still end up in bad places. So no platitudes about, gee, if that's what you see, that's what you GET, please. I prefer not platitudes or easy, pop psychology kind of things, either. My life and situation and mental and emotional health situations are complicated, and much deeper than any platitudes or "just do this, to feel better" things, can approach.
Anyway, one of the psychiatrists I've left a message for just called me back; I've called a number of them, and some of these have let me know that everyone in their whole BUILDING are not taking new patients, thus wiping a whole slew of names off of my list of psychiatrists off my list.
This iatrist I just spoke with, told me he gets 2-8 people a day calling him, needing a new psychiatrist. Geez, no wonder the psychiatrists around here turned me down; there's no way a psychiatrist could take that many on, they'd get swamped!
I think one reason he took me is because I had mentioned my bad experience with Dr. Brinley, and how I was frightened of seeing a psychiatrist now, and how I haven't been able to find one anyway. Also, I mentioned being referred to him by my ologist; his was one of the names my ologist marked on the list of providers I printed out from UHC's website. Well, Live and Work Well's website, the mental health gateway provider for UHC, or whatever one calls that sort of thing. Mental Health Access Manaqer. That reminds me, I'd better call them to pre-authorize this psychiatrist visit.
From the 20 minutes we spent on the phone (and I am pleased and surprised that he'd take that amount of time to speak with me!), it seems like we will be a really good fit, as far as doctor/patient relationship goes, psychiatrist/patient relationship being a bit different than a GP/patient relationship.
So, I am nervous and scared, but there is good potential here. He'll see me for at least an hour and a half initially, to really find out what's going on and stuff; he asked me to organize my med history, as to what I've been on, how long, when, beneficial effects, side effects, etc. I can SO do that, and would have anyway, but I'm glad he asked. We'll also talk about some other stuff.
Anyway, this is really, REALLY, EXCEPTIONALLY great news. Especially since, the last 4-5 months my meds have been losing effectiveness steadily, it seems.
Wish me luck, and courage, and strength, and stuff!
Otherwise, life sucks, is the pits, horrible, yucky, stupid, awful, horrendous, etc. I try, WITHOUT those attitudes, and still end up in bad places. So no platitudes about, gee, if that's what you see, that's what you GET, please. I prefer not platitudes or easy, pop psychology kind of things, either. My life and situation and mental and emotional health situations are complicated, and much deeper than any platitudes or "just do this, to feel better" things, can approach.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Emerge
Well, this is a bit more cheery than the last post. I also apologize to those who also read my beading blog, as I'll be cross-posting it there as well.
I created this necklace I call Emerge. It's got a few things I'm going to fiddle with on it, but I just couldn't wait to post it!
I'm not sure what the brown round beads are, but they're some kind of jasper. They are not as dark as they appear, though. The other brown beads are picture jasper, the oval blue/green ones are amazonite, and the bird tracks, letters, and bird's nest are ceramic beads. The drops are citrine, and they really add some liquid sunshine to the necklace.
You can probably guess that this necklace has personal meaning for me. It also has a kind of southwestern feel to it when I put it on, I think because the blues in this piece resemble turquoise, and of course the desert is well-represented in the browns; the bird tracks resemble petroglyphs, too.
I absolutely love this necklace! The extender chain is silver plated; the rest of the metal is sterling silver.
The meaning for me in this necklace, well, some of the meaning, is related to therapy.
What do you guys think?
I created this necklace I call Emerge. It's got a few things I'm going to fiddle with on it, but I just couldn't wait to post it!
I'm not sure what the brown round beads are, but they're some kind of jasper. They are not as dark as they appear, though. The other brown beads are picture jasper, the oval blue/green ones are amazonite, and the bird tracks, letters, and bird's nest are ceramic beads. The drops are citrine, and they really add some liquid sunshine to the necklace.
You can probably guess that this necklace has personal meaning for me. It also has a kind of southwestern feel to it when I put it on, I think because the blues in this piece resemble turquoise, and of course the desert is well-represented in the browns; the bird tracks resemble petroglyphs, too.
I absolutely love this necklace! The extender chain is silver plated; the rest of the metal is sterling silver.
The meaning for me in this necklace, well, some of the meaning, is related to therapy.
What do you guys think?
Monday, March 19, 2007
Grab the nearest book . . . .
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
Here's a meme I saw on someone's knitting blog, from a post in February. I can't remember the blog, though.
So, here I go, from "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball" (This is a lesson manual for this year in the LDS Church.) Twas the nearest thing (After a Barbie hardcover called Sea of Friends, but that book only has pages in the double digits.)
Page 123 is the footnote references for the chapter/lesson, referring to sources of various quotes used in the lesson, so I went to its facing page, page 122. These Notes weren't sentences.
Here's the 3 sentences:
Who shall I tag for this meme? How about Crafting Jen, Tea, Annegb, and Dr. Anonymous.
Please, everyone else play along as well if you like! I'm curious! This was fun to do, although the first coupla books my eyes fell upon were that Barbie one, a Magic Treehouse one, A Cam Jansen one, and other short books of my daughter's.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that “cool” or “intellectual” book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
Here's a meme I saw on someone's knitting blog, from a post in February. I can't remember the blog, though.
So, here I go, from "Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball" (This is a lesson manual for this year in the LDS Church.) Twas the nearest thing (After a Barbie hardcover called Sea of Friends, but that book only has pages in the double digits.)
Page 123 is the footnote references for the chapter/lesson, referring to sources of various quotes used in the lesson, so I went to its facing page, page 122. These Notes weren't sentences.
Here's the 3 sentences:
"Consider these ideas as you study the chapter or as you prepare to teach. For additional help, see pages v-ix.Well, there you go. Lol. It's a good question, though! I guess I'll do some thinking on it, read the chapter/lesson, and maybe post more on it this week.
Given that our lives are connected with family, friends, the Church, and the community, what do you think it means to be self-reliant and independent?"
Who shall I tag for this meme? How about Crafting Jen, Tea, Annegb, and Dr. Anonymous.
Please, everyone else play along as well if you like! I'm curious! This was fun to do, although the first coupla books my eyes fell upon were that Barbie one, a Magic Treehouse one, A Cam Jansen one, and other short books of my daughter's.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Japanese Meiji Rich Straberry Bar
Okay, so I'm merrily reading the blogs I read in Bloglines, when I come across the newest Candy Addict blog posting. It's about a foreign candy, as they frequently do. Meiji is apparently Japan's biggest chocolate company. This bar doesn't seem to be chocolate though, or at least doesn't have a chocolate taste. Which is just fine considering what it IS!!A Strawberry bar! And it contains 70% fresh strawberry pulp, yummmmm!!! The Candy Blog gave this bar their highest score, and their seal of approval - Candyaddict.com Awesomely Addictive Candy Award!
They said it REALLY tastes like juicy, sweet fresh strawberries! Sounds GREAT to me! This is definitely on my MUST list, now . . . . even if the color is a little scary, for a candy bar (since it contains so much strawberry, though, I'd hope most of the color was natural . . . )
Monday, February 12, 2007
Eek! Elevated Liver Tests!!!
OY!!!
I actually have a really good post about getting my annual physical (no details, although I will discuss some stuff; I hate pelvic exams, too, owie.)
But, we almost didn't do any labs, it seemed kind of an afterthought, but I said, "Yeah, I have no idea what my cholesterol is, let's do some labs!" He agreed and decided to do a couple different ones.
Let's see, this thing I got in the mail today reports back on the following:
Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
Lipid Profile
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (cont) (cause there was more than could fit on one row)
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (cont) (cause there was more than could fit on 2 rows)
CBC With Diff, plus two more rows (cont)
Anyway it lists various test results on each row, within the category or whatever.
At the top of this sheet of results, it says, "Elevated liver tests (AST and ALT) - otherwise all labs are completely normal. I recommend recheck of liver tests in 3-6 months and further evaluation if they are higher. Quite often mild elevations are caused by medications you are taking."
Well, so it freaked me out to read the first three words of that . . . .
On the other hand, it sounds like the reported levels are MILD, so there's not huge cause for concern; 3-6 months is a ways off, anyway. I'm wondering if the doc was waiting for me to get this report before discussing the elevated result with me, or if the comments up top are all he wanted to relate . . . I can always call him, I guess, although it doesn't sound like there's any more to find out, for now . . .
It sounds like he doesn't know if/that/whether a specific med I'm on may cause this. I don't know if Neurontin or Effexor XR can have this effect on the liver . . . .
Still, I'm a bit FREAKED out. I figure when I discuss it tomorrow in therapy, the above thoughts and conclusions (aside from still being freaked out) are things my ologist will agree with or come up with as well.
Still freaked, tho. Lol.
I actually have a really good post about getting my annual physical (no details, although I will discuss some stuff; I hate pelvic exams, too, owie.)
But, we almost didn't do any labs, it seemed kind of an afterthought, but I said, "Yeah, I have no idea what my cholesterol is, let's do some labs!" He agreed and decided to do a couple different ones.
Let's see, this thing I got in the mail today reports back on the following:
Thyroid Stimulating Hormone
Lipid Profile
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (cont) (cause there was more than could fit on one row)
Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (cont) (cause there was more than could fit on 2 rows)
CBC With Diff, plus two more rows (cont)
Anyway it lists various test results on each row, within the category or whatever.
At the top of this sheet of results, it says, "Elevated liver tests (AST and ALT) - otherwise all labs are completely normal. I recommend recheck of liver tests in 3-6 months and further evaluation if they are higher. Quite often mild elevations are caused by medications you are taking."
Well, so it freaked me out to read the first three words of that . . . .
On the other hand, it sounds like the reported levels are MILD, so there's not huge cause for concern; 3-6 months is a ways off, anyway. I'm wondering if the doc was waiting for me to get this report before discussing the elevated result with me, or if the comments up top are all he wanted to relate . . . I can always call him, I guess, although it doesn't sound like there's any more to find out, for now . . .
It sounds like he doesn't know if/that/whether a specific med I'm on may cause this. I don't know if Neurontin or Effexor XR can have this effect on the liver . . . .
Still, I'm a bit FREAKED out. I figure when I discuss it tomorrow in therapy, the above thoughts and conclusions (aside from still being freaked out) are things my ologist will agree with or come up with as well.
Still freaked, tho. Lol.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Freudian Slip & Fall
I think this is kinda funny, but then again, since it happened in front of the object of the Freudian slip . . . and since that object happens to be my ologist, and he happens to be more capable of figuring out what it means or is a clue about than a non-ologist, well, mebbe it wasn't the best time and place for this particular Freudian slip!!!
I had no clue that I had made this slip, until he told me.
Okay, so my ologist is back today, after being gone for three weeks. Since there was an obstacle that came up whilst trying to contact the iatrist he recommended, while he was gone, and I was so nervous about pushing through the obstacle, I suggested/asked if I could make the necessary call(s) right then and there in front of him.
So I did.
On the first of the two calls, I explained that I needed a different than the usual situation; I needed to be able to access a psychiatrist up at a more northern office of the county Behavioral Health system, rather then the one right nearby. I mentioned that my ologist particularly recommended this iatrist to me, as I felt my last psychiatrist verbally assaulted me. They sent me through to someone else, and I left a message stating the same.
My ologist recommended this iatrist for someone else who had been seeing the same iatrist I was, and needed a new one when 'ole Jerk-Face closed his private practice. This same person lives near me, and also needed to see one out of the normal area, and they were fine with it, and now she does. So it'll work for me too, but I haveta get through the various screeners and bureacracy.
The Freudian slip comes in where I was saying "my last psychiatrist was verbally abusive; I felt that he verbally assaulted me." Instead of psychiatrist, I had said, without realizing it, PSYCHOLOGIST. On both occasions I mentioned this to the two different people or voice mails at the more northern office.
AND, my psychologist was sitting RIGHT THERE, in front of me, when I did it. When he mentioned this, I was like, "I did? Are you sure? I thought I said iatrist . . . ", but I had said ologist, instead. Twice!!!
I think it's kind of funny.
I also think maybe it's cause I was annoyed my ologist had forgotten to tell me he was going on vacation a few weeks ago and I found out a few mins before the end of the last appt. before he left. Maybe? I have no idea what my subconscious is up to!
Anyway, my ologist is kind, gentle, warm, empathic, sometimes more neutral (I like the term benevolent neutrality!), depending on the therapeutic need and however he determines is the best response/reception to what I'm saying. He is wise and helpful, supportive and constant.
So I don't know why I made that Freudian slip, but I still think it's funny, esp since it was right in front of him!
I had no clue that I had made this slip, until he told me.
Okay, so my ologist is back today, after being gone for three weeks. Since there was an obstacle that came up whilst trying to contact the iatrist he recommended, while he was gone, and I was so nervous about pushing through the obstacle, I suggested/asked if I could make the necessary call(s) right then and there in front of him.
So I did.
On the first of the two calls, I explained that I needed a different than the usual situation; I needed to be able to access a psychiatrist up at a more northern office of the county Behavioral Health system, rather then the one right nearby. I mentioned that my ologist particularly recommended this iatrist to me, as I felt my last psychiatrist verbally assaulted me. They sent me through to someone else, and I left a message stating the same.
My ologist recommended this iatrist for someone else who had been seeing the same iatrist I was, and needed a new one when 'ole Jerk-Face closed his private practice. This same person lives near me, and also needed to see one out of the normal area, and they were fine with it, and now she does. So it'll work for me too, but I haveta get through the various screeners and bureacracy.
The Freudian slip comes in where I was saying "my last psychiatrist was verbally abusive; I felt that he verbally assaulted me." Instead of psychiatrist, I had said, without realizing it, PSYCHOLOGIST. On both occasions I mentioned this to the two different people or voice mails at the more northern office.
AND, my psychologist was sitting RIGHT THERE, in front of me, when I did it. When he mentioned this, I was like, "I did? Are you sure? I thought I said iatrist . . . ", but I had said ologist, instead. Twice!!!
I think it's kind of funny.
I also think maybe it's cause I was annoyed my ologist had forgotten to tell me he was going on vacation a few weeks ago and I found out a few mins before the end of the last appt. before he left. Maybe? I have no idea what my subconscious is up to!
Anyway, my ologist is kind, gentle, warm, empathic, sometimes more neutral (I like the term benevolent neutrality!), depending on the therapeutic need and however he determines is the best response/reception to what I'm saying. He is wise and helpful, supportive and constant.
So I don't know why I made that Freudian slip, but I still think it's funny, esp since it was right in front of him!
Friday, January 26, 2007
A Concerned & Proud Great-Niece
We recently learned that an uncle (who is 4-6 years older than us, I believe, I can't remember) in the military is going to be among the new wave of soldiers sent to Iraq. His duty will be disposing of IED's (Improvised Explosive Devices).
When my daughter heard us discussing it, she asked all sorts of questions and was very concerned. "Could he be hurt in Iraq?" Yes, we answered. We also told her that there is the possibility that he could die there. We didn't want to scare her, but she was asking the questions and wanting to know.
I'm not sure she even knows his face; he and his family live out of state. All the same, she is concerned for his safety, and for his immediate family. "Will they be all alone while he is in Iraq?" Yes, we answered, although we also indicated that their friends, family, and community would support them.
"When is he going to Iraq; is it next week?" No, we answer, he is going in March, we believe, after he learns his specifics of doing his job over there.
Just today, I learned from my daughter that he was the subject of her show and tell this last Monday. I knew she was concerned from the questions she had asked, but I hadn't realized the depth of pride she has in this relation serving his country, and putting himself in harm's way for us all. I hadn't realized the strength of the impression his military service, and his assignment to Iraq, had made on her.
We don't let her watch much of the news on TV at all, but she does see and hear snippets here and there, there is discussion of current events at school at times, as well as hearing reports on the radio as we drive about town. She knows there is a war in Iraq (well, WE know that the war supposedly ended, a new government is in place, Saddam is captured, sentenced, and sentence carried out, etc.), and that it is dangerous and a scary place, from her perspective. It seems so to me, as well.
I am proud that my daughter is proud of her great-uncle (that sounds so strange, since he is so close in age to my husband and myself!)! I am proud that she thought/thinks enough of him, and what he is doing, to talk about him for her show and tell this week. I am proud that she is concerned for his and his family's well-being, as she is a thoughtful, caring, and concerned child.
Both my husband and myself are also proud of our uncle and his military service, although we are especially concerned for him as he is assigned to this dangerous duty. We are concerned for his immediate family, too.
A few days ago, my husband and I watched Future Weapons on The Discovery Channel. On this particular episode, they showed a *brief-case looking device, that is so top-secret the name could not be revealed, although I note that apparently they had no problem showing and discussing the device on this show. This device is designed to disarm and separate the explosive fuels/components from car bombs/IED's, aiding in the disposal of such devices/materials.
The device has two shaped compartments of water, between which is nestled a charge of explosives, of a certain type. The charge is shaped, I THINK, but the water compartments also serve to shape the explosion, as well as having other purposes. The bottom compartment also serves to quench any fire(ball) that does go in that direction, and the top compartment of water is shaped by the special explosion, into a tall, thin, extremely damaging KNIFE of water. This knife of water cuts upwards with surprising precision (although, of course, the materials in this area don't look "neat" afterwards).
The result is a separation of the explosive materials of the IED, from the IED's other components. I was surprised by how effective this device was. I immediately thought of applications of this device in the field, as they discussed, particularly in Iraq, where car bombs are one of the types of IED's that are encountered. I would hope that this sort of thing gets into the hands of those who are tasked with dealing with IED's, such as our uncle. I hope it's not years before this device is sent to the field . . .
*Note: If you click on the videos, go to the third tab, Future Weapons Season 2, and scroll down to "BootBanger". This is the device I am talking about.
When my daughter heard us discussing it, she asked all sorts of questions and was very concerned. "Could he be hurt in Iraq?" Yes, we answered. We also told her that there is the possibility that he could die there. We didn't want to scare her, but she was asking the questions and wanting to know.
I'm not sure she even knows his face; he and his family live out of state. All the same, she is concerned for his safety, and for his immediate family. "Will they be all alone while he is in Iraq?" Yes, we answered, although we also indicated that their friends, family, and community would support them.
"When is he going to Iraq; is it next week?" No, we answer, he is going in March, we believe, after he learns his specifics of doing his job over there.
Just today, I learned from my daughter that he was the subject of her show and tell this last Monday. I knew she was concerned from the questions she had asked, but I hadn't realized the depth of pride she has in this relation serving his country, and putting himself in harm's way for us all. I hadn't realized the strength of the impression his military service, and his assignment to Iraq, had made on her.
We don't let her watch much of the news on TV at all, but she does see and hear snippets here and there, there is discussion of current events at school at times, as well as hearing reports on the radio as we drive about town. She knows there is a war in Iraq (well, WE know that the war supposedly ended, a new government is in place, Saddam is captured, sentenced, and sentence carried out, etc.), and that it is dangerous and a scary place, from her perspective. It seems so to me, as well.
I am proud that my daughter is proud of her great-uncle (that sounds so strange, since he is so close in age to my husband and myself!)! I am proud that she thought/thinks enough of him, and what he is doing, to talk about him for her show and tell this week. I am proud that she is concerned for his and his family's well-being, as she is a thoughtful, caring, and concerned child.
Both my husband and myself are also proud of our uncle and his military service, although we are especially concerned for him as he is assigned to this dangerous duty. We are concerned for his immediate family, too.
A few days ago, my husband and I watched Future Weapons on The Discovery Channel. On this particular episode, they showed a *brief-case looking device, that is so top-secret the name could not be revealed, although I note that apparently they had no problem showing and discussing the device on this show. This device is designed to disarm and separate the explosive fuels/components from car bombs/IED's, aiding in the disposal of such devices/materials.
The device has two shaped compartments of water, between which is nestled a charge of explosives, of a certain type. The charge is shaped, I THINK, but the water compartments also serve to shape the explosion, as well as having other purposes. The bottom compartment also serves to quench any fire(ball) that does go in that direction, and the top compartment of water is shaped by the special explosion, into a tall, thin, extremely damaging KNIFE of water. This knife of water cuts upwards with surprising precision (although, of course, the materials in this area don't look "neat" afterwards).
The result is a separation of the explosive materials of the IED, from the IED's other components. I was surprised by how effective this device was. I immediately thought of applications of this device in the field, as they discussed, particularly in Iraq, where car bombs are one of the types of IED's that are encountered. I would hope that this sort of thing gets into the hands of those who are tasked with dealing with IED's, such as our uncle. I hope it's not years before this device is sent to the field . . .
*Note: If you click on the videos, go to the third tab, Future Weapons Season 2, and scroll down to "BootBanger". This is the device I am talking about.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Mental Health Parity Bill
Click the title to read a short article about it.
Sounds good to me, altho I'm not clear on how it SAVES billions of dollars.
Sounds good to me, altho I'm not clear on how it SAVES billions of dollars.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Here I am . . .
See the brightest comet in 30 years . . ..
A blast from the past . . . .
Ok, before I get to the stuff about choosing a new psychiatrist, above are two interesting astronomy links.
Re: the comet, go out before sunset and look west. Follow the directions that link says and you may see this comet, but after a few days from now it'll be too close to the sun. Go out before sunset because just after sunset it dips below the horizon, or some such.
On the second one . . . . it really is a blast from the past! It's like our own personal view backwards through time . . . . any astronomical viewing is, really; the sunlight some of you may be seeing right now down there in Australia is 8 minutes old; that's not TOO far back, but at least if the sun is gonna shoot some killer CME our way we'll have an 8 minute warning. I'm not sure that coronal mass ejections have ever killed anybody, but then again, they probably have, due to resultant power outages.
Anyway! I spoke with my ologist today about the closest iatrist's on my insurance's provider list. I'll be checking out Dr. O first. I'm going to see if I can set up a 10-15 minute phone call with him so's I can see if it's even worth both of ours' times to meet. I should be able to tell right off if he's going to come off as . . . well, Dr. B-ish as Dr. B did, right off the bat. If Dr. O wants a face to face meeting for this preliminary feel-out (er, that doesn't sound right . . .) then that's fine, too, although I gotta see what, if any, he wants to charge for that. I think maybe docs don't, for that, because it saves them time and money in the long run if I and they see at that meeting that we just don't fit, right off the bat.
On the other hand, it's worth it to see if perhaps we might be compatible, and then also to get an idea of their style (I now gotta ask about this, because Dr. B's style was so . . . forceful.), philosophies in regards to issues that would affect my care, how we handle med issues, etc. (ie, Dr. B doesn't and wouldn't prescribe lithium), their preferences as well, like that, and stuff. Gee, that's alot for 15 minutes . . . but I'm afraid of taking too much time.
Anyway, I'll give Dr. O a call tomorrow and see what their secretary/receptionist has to say about the way they run the office, anything she can tell about how they work (emergency coverage, usual hours (i.e., does he take a particular mid-week day off, like some docs do, etc.), and other stuff). And see what I can set up in the way of a sort of prelim to having this iatrist be chosen by me as the one for me, kind of meeting.
Maybe I'm just gunshy after the last (my first) one, but I think it'll be wise and best for my health if I can ask him some questions and stuff. I guess I also feel like I have to justify my desire to ask questions, and even apologize . . .
I also gotta call my ologist tomorrow and clarify something I told him. I brought some things to light that I realized were coming up in regards to our therapeutic relationship, including feelings of hating him (lol) and stuff. Anyway, I was quite pleased to identify these feelings, bring 'em forward, and figure out WHY. This means we can, as he would put it, "work it in a way that will be beneficial to me"; ie, we can work through any issues in the therapeutic relationship, and not only will the results of working it through be good for me, the process itself is sort of an incubator of learning for me, if that makes any sense . . .
I hate my therapist, good on me! Woohooo!!!! Okay, so I'm being silly. I also know I don't hate him, but that these are feelings brought up by issues and events my psyche is getting stuck on, that I didn't realize I was getting stuck on, until I identified these feelings of resentment and (mild?) hate or whatnot, about it . . . they are the CLUE that points to a problem, a stuck area, and I'm pleased I figured all that out on my own (more fodder for therapy, but I gotta clarify on the phone tomorrow something about it, anyway).
The therapeutic relationship is like a canvas that feelings, often buried, or "belonging" (ie, transference), to other events or relationships, get splashed across in sometimes disturbing, but quite often interesting, and sometimes silly ways. Well, silly isn't the right word . . . but I find some of the things that happen on this canvas kinda humorous, anyway.
Dokey okey, that's about it for now.
Oh, I'm feeling better, although a nagging and more than lingering cough w/junk in my lungs that won't come out hanging around and making things less than fun, from this icky flu.
Wish me luck w/Dr. O.
A blast from the past . . . .
Ok, before I get to the stuff about choosing a new psychiatrist, above are two interesting astronomy links.
Re: the comet, go out before sunset and look west. Follow the directions that link says and you may see this comet, but after a few days from now it'll be too close to the sun. Go out before sunset because just after sunset it dips below the horizon, or some such.
On the second one . . . . it really is a blast from the past! It's like our own personal view backwards through time . . . . any astronomical viewing is, really; the sunlight some of you may be seeing right now down there in Australia is 8 minutes old; that's not TOO far back, but at least if the sun is gonna shoot some killer CME our way we'll have an 8 minute warning. I'm not sure that coronal mass ejections have ever killed anybody, but then again, they probably have, due to resultant power outages.
Anyway! I spoke with my ologist today about the closest iatrist's on my insurance's provider list. I'll be checking out Dr. O first. I'm going to see if I can set up a 10-15 minute phone call with him so's I can see if it's even worth both of ours' times to meet. I should be able to tell right off if he's going to come off as . . . well, Dr. B-ish as Dr. B did, right off the bat. If Dr. O wants a face to face meeting for this preliminary feel-out (er, that doesn't sound right . . .) then that's fine, too, although I gotta see what, if any, he wants to charge for that. I think maybe docs don't, for that, because it saves them time and money in the long run if I and they see at that meeting that we just don't fit, right off the bat.
On the other hand, it's worth it to see if perhaps we might be compatible, and then also to get an idea of their style (I now gotta ask about this, because Dr. B's style was so . . . forceful.), philosophies in regards to issues that would affect my care, how we handle med issues, etc. (ie, Dr. B doesn't and wouldn't prescribe lithium), their preferences as well, like that, and stuff. Gee, that's alot for 15 minutes . . . but I'm afraid of taking too much time.
Anyway, I'll give Dr. O a call tomorrow and see what their secretary/receptionist has to say about the way they run the office, anything she can tell about how they work (emergency coverage, usual hours (i.e., does he take a particular mid-week day off, like some docs do, etc.), and other stuff). And see what I can set up in the way of a sort of prelim to having this iatrist be chosen by me as the one for me, kind of meeting.
Maybe I'm just gunshy after the last (my first) one, but I think it'll be wise and best for my health if I can ask him some questions and stuff. I guess I also feel like I have to justify my desire to ask questions, and even apologize . . .
I also gotta call my ologist tomorrow and clarify something I told him. I brought some things to light that I realized were coming up in regards to our therapeutic relationship, including feelings of hating him (lol) and stuff. Anyway, I was quite pleased to identify these feelings, bring 'em forward, and figure out WHY. This means we can, as he would put it, "work it in a way that will be beneficial to me"; ie, we can work through any issues in the therapeutic relationship, and not only will the results of working it through be good for me, the process itself is sort of an incubator of learning for me, if that makes any sense . . .
I hate my therapist, good on me! Woohooo!!!! Okay, so I'm being silly. I also know I don't hate him, but that these are feelings brought up by issues and events my psyche is getting stuck on, that I didn't realize I was getting stuck on, until I identified these feelings of resentment and (mild?) hate or whatnot, about it . . . they are the CLUE that points to a problem, a stuck area, and I'm pleased I figured all that out on my own (more fodder for therapy, but I gotta clarify on the phone tomorrow something about it, anyway).
The therapeutic relationship is like a canvas that feelings, often buried, or "belonging" (ie, transference), to other events or relationships, get splashed across in sometimes disturbing, but quite often interesting, and sometimes silly ways. Well, silly isn't the right word . . . but I find some of the things that happen on this canvas kinda humorous, anyway.
Dokey okey, that's about it for now.
Oh, I'm feeling better, although a nagging and more than lingering cough w/junk in my lungs that won't come out hanging around and making things less than fun, from this icky flu.
Wish me luck w/Dr. O.
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