A Day in the Life of Sara

Let's see, it's 2:40 am Utah time, and I'm still up. My sleeping has gotten rather off schedule lately, as I tend to do from time to time.

I've been told a regular schedule, especially sleep, is good for bipolar people, but I SO HATE SCHEDULES! It's like the antithesis of ME.

I know that being so OFF, sleep-wise, isn't the best for me. I'm gonna go to bed soon, I promise.

I'm worried that I won't be able to go to church tomorrow, because I'll be zonked from the late night, plus the meds that tend to make it almost impossible for me to wake well and stay awake without a certain minimum of sleep hours that night. They do this to me sometimes too even with a good 9 hours of sleep.

I worry that I'll be thought less of for having 9 hours as my ideal sleep number, but everyBODY's different!

I worry about practically everything. Like everytime I plug in an appliance in the kitchen, I worry about an electrical fire starting in the wall. I try really hard to keep this worry confined to the kitchen, and not let it seep out to other areas of the house.

That's my battle sometimes, you see. Containment; holding the line. That is a victory in itself. I have to accept that this is okay; there isn't enough of me to dance the dance of a duel with every single thing I battle, to the point of elimination and conclusion.

So, I hold the line, and the worry of electrical fires is bound and restrained.

I worry what will be thought of me, upon public viewing and digestion of this post; then again, I strive to show the issues and living of mental illness, and especially to fight the stigma.

I feel as Don Quixote, a bit, as I mount my charger, don my raiment, and hold forth my lance with which I hope to topple a few windmills . . .

I will be going into detail in these snippets from my day, Sunday October 8th (or, perhaps snippets from this WEEK; it depends on how much focus and attention and ability I have today to continue with this project; if I run out of steam, I'll spread it over a week or so.)

As I will be going into some detail, I will submit these as bits, instead of a whole post. Please bear with me.