Actor Crush of the Day: Ewan McGregor
I need to accept that.
Dr. Mower says, though I seek for people to understand me, there will never be any guarantee that anyone will. There may be some who never do.
The moment in therapy where I was like, "OH!", and knew what he was talking about, was good, but trying to apply this in practice is a bit more difficult. Okay, so quite a bit more difficult.
Some people will just never "get" me. Even if they think they do, or say they do.
And, some of these people will be hurt and offended that they think I don't "get" them.
It's not a quid pro quo, really. I may very well "get" them, even if they think I don't, but the reality is, if the person who wants to be understood, doesn't feel as though you do, it's actually beside the point, irrelevant, that you DO understand them. If they don't feel you do, then it is as though you DON'T.
So, how do we get through this? When people both don't "get" each other, or when one person "gets" the other, and the other doesn't "get" this person? Variations as well of one feeling the other person "gets" them, or not.
It seems to me that accepting that some people just will not understand, is going to be a fundamentally FREEING concept, in many ways; I can feel the grasp of this, just out of reach. When I lay hold of it though, I think it will be sweet. Then it won't matter whether others "get" me or not. It'll be one more step closer towards not worrying about what people think of me, and "freeing" me up towards acting how I see fit, regardless of whether or not I feel other people will approve of my behavior. It will REALLY free me up towards doing those things I feel necessary, and/or want to do, that I am pretty sure some around me WON'T like and/or approve of.
Anyway, I'm pondering this, and being somewhat depressed that certain people in particular seem to never, in the end, "get it", and so I need to just accept that. Somehow.
8 comments:
Very well said.
I think you have a very nice "je ne sais quoi" thing going for you...
Question for you, so I can "get" you better =)
Is another's understanding different from another's acceptance/approval?
I think there are a lot of factors that help determine what another's level of acceptance may be. This may include their personal experience being much like yours or knowing someone close enough on a personal level with such experiences. Also, a person's educational background can play a factor. Often people judge out of ignorance. I think there are personality types that are more accepting than others as well by their very nature. Then, we have those who have become more accepting by serving others and learning to become more kind. I think in a lot of cases that a person may like a lot of things about a person but still be confused about certain things. Even my best friends, I do not like everything about them. However, I treasure them and respect who they are including their strengths and weaknesses. I guess that I think of this more as a school where people get a lot of opportunities to learn and grow and become more tomorrow than they were yesterday. We have chances to have our assumptions blown away. I know that I love it when I meet someone who is so much more wonderful than I thought them to be on our initial encounters. People often surprise me in a good way!
I was just getting in bed when I had some thoughts that I felt were worth sharing. Just because someone does not comprehend a truth, does not make something false. Just because someone does not accept someone, it does not mean that he or she is unworthy of being loved. It is always nice to have someone validate how you feel. Understanding is a beautiful thing. We need to brace ourselves for the times when people fall short because they invariably will fall short. People are very good at overlooking others attributes and efforts. But that does not diminish the reality of the person and their efforts and attributes.
Here is a poem that I wrote some time ago.
Thank you for your every prayer
When I was in sore despair.
Thank you for helping me again to
reason.
In what has been my darkest season.
Thank you for the humor that you did so astutely find.
And in times of peril for being unwaverlingly find.
Thank you for treating me with dignity.
Without you, I do not know where I would be.
Oops! It should read...And in times of peril for being unwaveringly kind. :)
Good night! zzzzzzzzzz
Just because someone does not comprehend a truth, does not make something false. Just because someone does not accept someone, it does not mean that he or she is unworthy of being loved.
This bears repeating, Barb. Very wise... I need to add this one to my mental collection
Post a Comment